About This Girl

I am a 30 year old woman. I am married to my absolute best friend, Matt. We have two babies, Rowan and Levi ~ but they live with Jesus.

My life has been filled to the brim with love, heartache, Jesus, laughter, tears, forgiveness, mercy and marvelous grace. This blog is my way of healing from the loss of my sons. And, in a small way ~ keeping them close.

I am an aunt to 9 little children, all under the age of 6.  I am a big sister to 4 siblings, one in her 20's, one about to be a teenager, and two under the age of 3.  Yikes.  I am surrounded by children and not one of them is mine.  :o)

I love to blog, and to read other blogs.  I have always enjoyed reading biographies and true stories of other's lives.  I also enjoy most things crafty, i.e. crochet, scrapbooking, anything involving hot glue and glitter!!  I love music, and enjoy singing.  My husband is an amazing pianist, so we have a great time.  We are involved in our church, and we simply love serving the Lord through music ministry.   God has given us many blessings in our lives, we hope to bless Him by giving back.

Our road is not easy, and our journey seems so long.  We would gladly trade with anyone, but at the same time we would not wish our sorrows on anyone.  We have a great hope that we will hold our babies for all eternity one day...and we hope that time will seem like a blink to them.  


Julianna Morlet said...

my heart hurts for you.

Anonymous said...

Found you while looking through WIWW. Cried while I read through your archives. My sister lost her precious daughter almost two years ago the same way you lost your sons. I am going to pass your blog on to her for encouragement. (She even shares your birthday :))

Mommy Moxie said...

I found you through WIWW and your blog has touched the depths of my soul. I was one of the ungrateful ones that hated being pregnant, but I will never, ever think of my pregnancy that way again. There is nothing that I can say that even seems fitting, but please know that my heart is with you and your family.

crystal theresa said...

Hi Amanda, I found you through the DBC (which I just found).

Rowan and Levi are so precious; They are beautiful babies. I'm so sorry that they aren't here in your arms.

Both of my babies, Calvin and Rainbow, also walk with Jesus, and I long for the day when I will know them as they know me.

Thank you so much for sharing your heart and your babies.


Anonymous said...

Hello Amanda,

I found your blog all the way from Canada. I saw a link from a pro-life website www.jillstanek.com.

Thank-you so much for courageously sharing your story of loss & healing. I am deeply sorry for your the loss of both your sons. You will see both of them in Heaven & be reunited for eternity. Levi & Rowan are angels overlooking you as you read my message.

Please do keep us updated on your third pregnancy. I have lifted up the health & well-being of this baby to our Lord & Saviour & I pray for him to be born full-term & healthy. May God bless you & your family abundantly.

Please do keep the lovely photos of your son on the internet. I have saved them as they really show the humanity of your children. They are special people.

Peace be with you.

Matushka Anna said...


I pray your current pregnancy goes all the way to term! May it be blessed!

I too found your site linked on Jill Stanek's site. I just lost my baby a few weeks ago. He measured 12 1/2 weeks when he died, I found out at 13 1/2 weeks and I delivered him at home 10 days after that. He looks just a tiny bit younger than Rowan. I'm so glad you posted photographs of both of your sons. I think my son Innocent is beautiful too.

I have an old blog and a new blog - the new one being about the nitty gritty of miscarriage from an Orthodox Christian perspective. One resource I'm trying to provide is photographs of babies at every week gestation from six weeks on. I didn't want them to be textbook or intra-uterine pictures - I wanted them to be taken by real people. This is to help people prepare for what their baby will look like, as well as assist them in identifying the baby (at the younger gestations). I would love to link to Rowan and Levi's photographs if you would agree. Such beautiful children need to be shared. The blog is "Lost Innocents" - http://lostinnocentsorthodox.blogspot.com/(my other one is "Praying With My Feet" in case you need to see that I'm not an internet weirdo -http://prayingwithmyfeet.blogspot.com/ ).

Matushka Anna said...

Amanda, I noticed that you prefered to have people ask permission to use any photos on the personal "us" page, so I'm going to go out on a limb and assume it is ok to use and link back to photos of your sons. Please let me know if this is not acceptable and I will remove them.

Nikki said...

I love your blog. I am from Pensacola, originally. God bless you and your family.