Showing posts with label Rowan McCleskey. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rowan McCleskey. Show all posts

Monday, October 27, 2014

Capture Your Grief. Day 27. Express.

Day 27: EXPRESS. This is the day in month where you can say whatever it is on your heart that you would like. Find your voice. What is it that you want to express Is there anything that you want the world to know about your grief or children?

Capture Your Grief. Day 27.  Express. 
I copied this segment from another blogger almost 2 years ago...it's been sitting "saved" on my blog in an empty, title-less, blog just waiting....  It fits so perfectly with today's photo prompt.  I wish I could give credit to the writer, but I cannot find her page anymore...  Alas, here are her words, written as if from my own heart...


"But a tiny fraction of my heart is also paralyzed with fear that Monday is right around the corner and I am soon to realize everyone else has moved on from this…leaving me to continue in this desert. Its not that I fear being alone in it – its that I fear, partly, the someday I WILL move on too and somehow that will symbolize it doesn’t hurt so bad, it wasn’t as bad as I remember, etc. One day I will be a visitor to these emotions and this experience and not the resident I am currently." 

 Rowan, 08-17-09, miscarried 13w2d

 Levi Matthew, 06/28/10-06/29/10
born at 19 week gestation, passed away after 1hr 19min

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What is "Capture Your Grief"?  Read about it here.
Or, just join in the photo project by following these prompts:



Monday, October 13, 2014

Capture Your Grief. Day 13. Season.

I associate our losses with summer.  In June of 2010 our precious Levi went home to Heaven.  In July of 2011, the miraculous birth of Noah took place.  And, in August of 2009, our beloved Rowan was whisked away to Glory.

All of summer is eaten up with the grief and the miracle and the immense longing for children.

It's still a favorite time of year.  I get to remember and dote on all three babies (just as I would if they were all here).

This is a picture that Matt took in 2010 after Levi passed away.  We  went on a cruise to the Bahamas.  I couldn't bear to be in our home, or even our city.  We needed to be away, to be quiet.  The stillness of the ocean, the beauty of God's creation all around us.  Summer is the perfect time to remember our boys.  #mamalovesyou 

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What is "Capture Your Grief"?  Read about it here.

Or, just join in the photo project by following these prompts:
 

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Capture Your Grief. Days 8, 9, 10, 11 & 12

Capture Your Grief.  Day 8.  Resource.

I found hope & strength through this site. Sharing my grief and learning that we were not alone in our losses. ‪#‎community‬ -though not the community I would have chosen, 
it's a community that helps & heals. ‪

Capture Your Grief. Day 9. In Memory.

Noah has his own little block on this necklace now too. It is probably my most prized piece of jewelry. People ask me about it when they see it & I get another chance to spread the word about my boys' lives and about the love of Jesus and the hope that comes just when you think there is absolutely none left. ‪#‎mamalovesyou‬ 

Capture Your Grief. Day 10.  Support.
This guy.  My ‪#‎husband‬. My friend.
My rock when it seemed impossible. A steady hand when when I could not balance out. A soft place to land when all of life was so hard.  He is ‪#‎brave‬ & courageous. Love you. Mean it.

Capture Your Grief. Day 11. Altar.
A place of remembrance. A place to call to mind all that The Lord has done. In our bedroom there are three shelves. One for Rowan, one for Levi Matthew, and one for Noah.  We do not forget how The Lord proved Himself merciful & gracious. We do not forget the days our lives were changed for eternity. We share our losses & our miracles to tell of His great love.

Capture Your Grief. Day 12.  Music.

 Music seems to be a universal language.  Expressing emotions and thoughts that we sometimes cannot identify by just speaking words.  Music can take you deep into the raw parts of your heart that you otherwise could not get to.  Music captures grief and joy and love so perfectly. This song, "I Will Praise You In This Storm" was on repeat for so long in our home.  I just knew that if I kept saying 'amen', just kept my hope in HIM that I would see another sunny day.  You can listen here.

"I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
Every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

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Do you have a grief story to share?  Consider practicing by following the photo prompts from Capture Your Grief (see below) and read more about the project ---> here!



 





Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Capture Your Grief - Days 5, 6 & 7

Okay, okay - so I can't seem to get on here everyday & blog my pics nice & neat & one at the time.  Well, here is my grouping for days 5, 6 & 7.

Capture Your Grief. Day 5. Journal.

 A safe place to express feelings, dreams & fears. A reference to look back & see where &
how The Lord has moved. #whathealsyourheart

Capture Your Grief. Day 6.  Books. 

Books to heal. Books offering hope. Books to make sense of mind boggling medical issues. 
Books to stir your faith. Books to teach you things. Books!!! Lovely books. #whathealsyourheart

Capture Your Grief. Day 7. Sacred Place.
 
  Our bed. We made babies here. We lost babies here. I spent months of bed rest here. I prayed here. Cried here. Wanted to die here. Waited to live from this place. Lost myself & found grace here. This is a sacred place. A place of refuge. A place of rest. #whathealsyourheart

What is Capture Your Grief?  Read more here. 
And join in the photo project by following these prompts:


Saturday, October 4, 2014

Capture Your Grief - 2014. Days 2-4

We were on a camping trip w/o cell reception, so I was unable to post in a timely manner, however, here are my catch ups.  :)

Day 2.
Heart

Capture Your Grief. Day 2. Heart. #captureyourgrief #whathealsyourheart #day2 The heart can hold so much more than we think possible. More joy. More love. And, more pain. The Lord truly heals the hearts of those who seek Him. He is ever close to the brokenhearted.

Day 3.
Before

 Capture Your Grief. Day 3. Before. #captureyourgrief #whathealsyourheart Before the loss of a child. Before the ache of empty arms. Before the miraculous birth of a living babe. Before pink lines, fertility meds, bed rest, & surgeries. Before death. Before grave sites. Before empty.

Day 4.
Now



Want to join in the #healing process?  Visit here or just blog based on the prompts below:

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Capture Your Grief - 2014 - Day 1

Capture Your Grief. Day 1. 
SUNRISE

Well, I missed the sunrise today.  Noah was up at 3-ish a.m. and I fe1l back asleep in his bed with him until 7 & by then the sun had already risen high & mighty over the day.  :)  I did however, snap a picture of the sun beams through my window.

How appropriate to start the Babyloss Awareness month out with a picture of the sunrise.  How unbearable the grief without the HOPE of the sun rising the next day.  And the next...and the next...  The HOPE that life does indeed keep. on. moving. forward.  Not lessening the loss of a baby (or in our case, babies), but a reminder that there is still a great work to be done.  Here. 


#captureyourgrief  #whathealsyourheart

You can follow me on instagram too, @mccleskey1813

And, if you want to know more about this series, read here.

And, here are the prompts for the whole month of October.


Wednesday, October 16, 2013

International Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day (October 15th)

Yesterday was a tough one.  I cried many times.  I squeezed Noah so hard he said, "ow".  It was a tough one.  But it was also a sweet one.

October 15th is International Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness Day.  It's the day of the year that we ask everyone to light a candle at 7 p.m. (in their time zone).  Do you know what that does?  It means that for 24 hours there is a light burning all around the world.  :)

Our little family took part in an AMAZING ceremony last night in Navarre, put on by a local group of moms who's babies left too soon.  You can check out their Facebook page here, Wave of Light. "Like" their page so that you can be sure to join us next year if you are local.

At 7 p.m. we joined dozens of other families in lighting & releasing Chinese Paper Lanterns into the beautiful night sky.  It was overwhelming. The pain & grief hit me as I stepped out to light lantern. I burst into tears.  I'd held it together all day, and the days leading up to the event.  I didn't want to let them go...felt like I was saying goodbye again.  I would let go...and then reach out to grab my lantern back...until finally letting them go...both of them...watching them until I couldn't see them anymore...  Beautiful.  
















As a side note, I find it no "happenstance" or "chance" that I have heard this amazing song on the radio nearly every day this week... LOVE this song & the hope that it proclaims!!


"Oceans (Where Feet May Fail)" <--click click--="" here="">


You call me out upon the waters
The great unknown where feet may fail
And there I find You in the mystery
In oceans deep
My faith will stand

And I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Your grace abounds in deepest waters
Your sovereign hand
Will be my guide
Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me
You've never failed and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves
When oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours and You are mine

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
[x6]

I will call upon Your Name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Four



Today I write to honor the life of my smallest son, my Rowan.  My FIRST son.  My heart was stolen on the day that pregnancy test was positive.  I fell to my knees in tears & humble thanks.  For years we waited, we cried, we screamed, we hurt, we laughed, we loved, we wanted, and we worked hard to make a baby.  And then, I peed on a stick & 3minutes later our lives were forever changed. 

I will NEVER forget the feeling of sweet relief and overwhelming joy at seeing the smallest flicker of life on that black and white ultrasound machine.  The immense, deep, never ceasing LOVE of Jesus flooded me so quickly in that moment & spilled over from Him to me and from me to the little spark within me.

And, then, my God, my God...5 weeks later and a heartbeat was heard.  A heartbeat that stopped all of time for a moment.  I didn't want them to take the wand away from my belly.  I wanted the sound to go on forever.  And the person growing within me, on the screen, small and perfectly at peace.  Only knowing love.

But, not all stories of becoming a momma & daddy end with a cooing, squirmy, love bug.  Some end with a worn out momma sitting down to use the bathroom and catching her 13 week old baby in her hands.  Some end with daddy's dropping to their knees and praying for a twin to be inside that no one noticed before.  Some end with momma's not having any contractions, without any bleeding and without any warning.  And some of the stories end before they even really begin.  But, I say it again (and I will continue to shout from the roof tops) you are (we are) all mommas & daddys.

Rowan came to us quickly, quietly and without pain.  I like to believe that is how he left too, how he experienced it I mean.  No pain, only love.  No pressure or harshness, only mercy and grace from Abba Father.  

Psalm 139:13-16  " For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,  your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."


 
If I allow myself to sit & think about all I felt and struggled to grasp onto as my life was spinning so fast in those moments after Rowan came to us...  I can feel the tiny weight of him against my hand.  I can remember the warmth.  I can recall staring at him, taking all of him in...fingers with nails, toes, a face that looked exactly like my husband, the cutest little teeny tiny booty.  All the things a momma would notice.  I would want Rowan to know that I noticed.  I know that he was 9 oz in weight.  I know those things because I am his momma.  He mattered, his life MATTERED, it matters still.  

My heart aches for Heaven to be with my boys, Rowan and Levi.  But, my heart also rejoices here to be with Matt and our little Noah.  The Lord is good and He will fulfill ALL of his promises.  What we think we know and understand of God's character is only a whisper of His glory and grandness.  And our small journey here is only a tiny speck in the grand scheme of eternity...but it matters. To us and to Him.  










Wednesday, April 10, 2013

psalm 71:14


Maybe it's because we are attempting "this baby thing" again...  Maybe it's because it's already been 6 months of "serious" trying, but really at least a year of WANTING it...  Maybe it's because I let a little bit of myself believe it'd be easier this time...

Maybe it's just because I'm a girl & all I want with my whole self is to make babies.

Maybe it's because I have faith that my God can do mighty things.

Maybe it's silly, or maybe it seems foolish.

But, whatever "it" is, I am really feeling sensitive lately.  I am missing Rowan & Levi bad.  Like in those first days after they left us missing them.   Sometimes I squeeze Noah so tight & just breath him in...I cannot get enough of that squishy, squirmy, boy smell.  I cannot hold him enough, kiss him enough, love him enough...to bring them back.  :/  Is it weird to even think that...I don't know.

I cry and cry at the thought that Noah may be my only living child.  I cry and cry at how selfish that is, and sounds... I know so many struggling still, wishing, hoping, praying...coveting what we have...longing for this piece of Heaven.  When will I stop wanting and taking & just be okay with what we have been given?

I have to admit I think part of the reason I want so much is because I feel that so much has been taken from us.  And it has, but I have to come to terms with the fact that NOTHING is owed.  And it's hard.






Sunday, March 3, 2013

Been thinking...

I've had my boys on my mind a lot these past few weeks.  Like, first thing in the morning, all through the day (randomly) and in the busiest of times...  A feeling of needing them, so deeply.  A feeling that I'll admit I haven't felt in a long time...like maybe since Noah has been here (19 months).

So, here I am sitting at the computer thinking of them.  Missing them.  Looking at pictures & wishing for them.  Praying for us.  Praying for him.  For them.  And I stumbled on this...


It's perfect right.  It just sums it up...this feeling I've been having.  It is so hard, SO.VERY.HARD. to forget...to move one with life...to keep living...someone who gave you soooooooo much to remember.  I don't want to forget my boys.  I know that I wear them on my face, on my body, daily...but I just take it to mean...it's so hard to just keep going & living without someone (or someones) who gave you so much, meant EVERYTHING...  It is so. hard.

xo

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

sharing

I will be sharing my testimony at our MOPS group on Thursday.  It has been a tough few days as I write things out and really think about my past...where I came from, how I got to this day. 

I have spent a lot of time praying about what I will say about Rowan & Levi, as I feel they have made me the momma that I am today.  I really want to offer hope and love to other women who may have lost their babes, or know someone who has.  I struggle with the right words, and the right way to say them.  I know that God will direct me in what to say, and I just need to be strong enough to listen and follow. 

Thinking so much about them and recounting their stories has really been a series of ups and downs.  It has been nearly 3 years since little Rowan died, and almost 2 years since our Levi left us.  I miss those boys so much.  As I watch Noah grow and learn I can't help but wonder what they would be like...what our life would be like...

I miss them so much.  My heart is so broken, and yet so full...  How can there be such conflicting emotions?  How can there be so much love?

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Time Marches On

Today is a special day.  Our little family is the Facebook Feature Family for the Pensacola area March of Dimes, for today anyway. 

Here is our story as shared on the FB page...

If you are visiting this blog from seeing us on FB, thanks, and I hope you will read all about our journey to being parents.  The amazing, the sad, the joyous, the heartbroken...all of it.  Then, tell someone else & so on...  Our message of faith is simple.  God loves us, and He loves you.  We pray that you will read our story and know our hearts are so full of love for the God who gives and takes away.  We are humbled to be parents to 3 precious angel children, even if we only get to keep one for the time being. 

Anyway, I digress. Now, if you want to read more you can click on the links ---> over there under READ MORE (right under the first 2 pictures on the right column of this page). 


 Rowan, 08-17-09

 Levi's hands & feet

 Levi Matthew 06/28-06/29/10

Noah Reagan, miracle of miracles, born 07-18-11