Amused... Confused...

So, I'm 10w5d preggers today.  I LOVE it.  I give three cheers to Jesus with each wave of nausea, as I feel like I'm actually having a 'normal' pregnancy.  Praise the Lord for exhaustion and sickness.  I truly love it.  There are so many who would give up all sleep forever, and all settled tummies to experience these things...and I am so blessed.  Thank you Jesus.

Oh how we pray for continued normalcy.  Although the concept of actually ever holding a new born, alive & responsive, is so beyond the limits of my mind...I am feeling some hope, a little hope, everyday.  And, again the unspeakable joy that overwhelms me.  I don't know where it comes from, and each time I try to calm myself and tell myself not to get too excited and to take it one day at a time...I just feel such a sense of peace from the Lord and a reassurance that He knows our heartache and He has given us this gift so that we can be joyous.

I applied for Medicaid right after we found out I was pregnant. In Florida, you have to do everything online (super frustrating).  It takes 30+ days to get a response.  Well, our response came last week, and we were denied Medicaid, but approved for medically needy.  Great, except that we have to rack up almost $3500 in medical bills EACH MONTH before they would help us pay for anything.  So, I go back online to review all the documentation...there were these mysterious numbers in their system for our income...I mean so mysterious and out of someone's mind.  Even when I added up all our monthly income it wasn't even close.  In fact, according to Medicaid we bring home about $8200 a month.  WOW!!!  Someone owes me some serious money!!!  I mean that is well over 3x's our monthly income.  My husband is in the ministry for goodness sakes and I work part-time!

Anyhow, because of this, today I went to the local Medicaid office.  I waited in line for 20 minutes, and was finally able to speak to a guy who wouldn't make eye contact, and seemed so squirmy.  After spilling all of my most personal information to him in the smelly, hot, over crowded 'office', I was told to call the Medicaid office to have my problem corrected.  So, I said "well, where am I?  Isn't this the Medicaid office?  Can't I just speak to someone while I'm here?"  To which he said, "Well, this is the medicaid office, but there is no one here who can help you and I don't know that much about medicaid."  And, I said, "but you work here, and this is the medicaid office."  "yes ma'am."  "but you can't help me?"  " no ma'am.  There are like 18 different types of medicaid and I don't know that much about them."  "but you work here at the medicaid office, and there is no one else who i can sit and talk to?"  "no ma'am, have you tried calling customer service?" "yes that's how I got your location and how I knew to come here."  Then, he hands me a business card with a phone number, which I called in the parking lot, and was pushed around a phone system and finally disconnected right after the robot voice told me to call the customer service number - which was the place I called last week that told me to go to the local office, - yeah the one where they hire people to work who don't know about medicaid.

I feel like a rat after some cheese in a maze, only there is no cheese...just cheese flavored air spray....

So, I submitted changes online and have to wait an additional 10+ days to hear if the changes make any difference in our determination of need.

Oh God grant me the serenity!!  It was really amusing seeing his face each time I asked if this was in fact the medicaid office.   Oh, little red headed medicaid man....you made me flustered and you made me laugh...nice.