November is my favorite month of all. Maybe it's because my birthday is November 27th, or maybe it's because Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday (but that's probably only because of my being born on Thanksgiving day). Hmmm. I'm sensing a pattern!
But really, I love Thanksgiving. Every year all my family gets together at mamaw's house, and we eat. Lots of yummy food, and then my most delicious (mamaw's specialty) chocolate fudgy birthday cake! Yummy! What is not to love?
So, this year I've Levi's due date weighing heavy on my mind and heart. He was due to come home to us on November 25th. But as most of you know (if you know me or this blog) he was born really early and came to us back in June. That boy took a large piece of my heart to Heaven with him. I miss him so much, and as his due date grows closer - I can feel my anxiety shutting me down. I can feel the closing in of self that happens when we let grief and fear take center stage.
In hopes to combat some of the grief I've decided to partake in the Month of Thanksgiving activity. If your on FB you have probably heard of it already. Well, I'm not posting on FB daily, but I will try my hardest to post here.
I've missed a few days as this is the 6th, so I'll just do my top 6 for now:
1. I'm so thankful to know Jesus. I'm blessed beyond words that He gave himself for me, and that because of His sacrifice I will live forever with my sons in Heaven one day.
2. I am thankful for my sweet husband, Matt. He is a joy to me and the Lord has given to me far more than I deserve.
3. I am thankful that I have been pregnant twice. I love the feeling of someone growing inside, taking everything from you and needing you so much.
4. I am thankful that I got to see my sweet baby Rowan. I am thankful that he was so perfect and that we had a proper good-bye. We cannot wait to meet you in Heaven little love.
5. I am so so thankful to be Levi's momma. I am so thankful that he lived for over an hour, and that all he knew was our love for him. I am thankful that we have pictures, and prints. I am mostly thankful that he made the small gesture of grabbing for my hand. I am thankful that he is mine and I cannot wait to hug and squeeze him in eternity!!
6. I am thankful to live in America. I am thankful that we have so many freedoms and choices.
Okay, so that's my first 6. Maybe I will do this on a weekly basis - seems to be easier, maybe?!