Monday, May 16, 2011

BLM Blog Spotlight :Lost Innocents

Hello all!  I've recently realized that I get contacted by a lot of BLMs (as I'm sure we all do) who have GREAT websites, blogs and resources for the rest of us to encourage healing and hope.  As such, I've decided to spotlight one of these each month for as long as I can do so.  
To get things started let me introduce you to Anna Crawford.  I was contacted by Anna a month or so ago, and she asked if she could use the pictures of Rowan & Levi for her blog.  After reading all about her and what she was working on, I was gung-ho!  Please take a few moments to read her back story here, and then hop on over and look at what she is doing.  I think this project is going to be a wealth of information for those facing miscarriage, having just experienced miscarriage, etc. 
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My son, my sixth child, died at just past 12 weeks gestation and was born about three weeks later. We found out he had died on the Feast of St. Innocent (March 31). He had been due about the date of the second feast of St. Innocent (October 6), which was also my birthday. It should be no wonder that we named him Innocent. And really, all of our lost babies are little innocents. Previously I had never had any problems in pregnancy so with his death I also experienced a loss of innocence. "It can't happen to me" became "It happened to me."
I had a "missed miscarriage" but I did not want to have a D&C. I wanted to deliver my child the way I would have delivered any other of my children: with love and dignity. I wanted to offer up any suffering in love. The problem was I had no experience. I didn't know what to expect. Looking over the internet I found information about miscarriage but so much of it didn't apply in my case. Either the miscarriages were at six weeks or the assumption was that you would have a D&C. Any information I did find was vague and didn't give me the graphic information I needed to do this on my own. The other thing I was looking for were photographs of a 12-13 week baby. I do not suggest you go Googling this on your own because you will encounter many, many photographs of aborted babies. This is not what you want to be looking at when your child has just died. I sent out a plea for information on my original blog, Praying With My Feet, and received dozens upon dozens of emails from women who had been through similar experiences. Several shared intimate and graphic details of their own miscarriage for which I was very grateful.

Not long after I delivered Innocent (at home, by myself, and he was beautiful!) I decided to start a blog about miscarriage. I wanted there to be a safe place for women to come for detailed information of what to expect whether they were having a D&C, medically induced miscarriage or natural miscarriage. I wanted there to be a safe place for them to view photographs of babies at every week gestation and I wanted those photographs to be taken of "real babies", not just text-book photos with no context. I wanted to make it an all-inclusive site with information about burial, prayers, information for family and friends, and lists of other resources. I wanted to provide stories from women who had been through it. In short, I wanted to create the kind of site I had been looking for and had been unable to find. Thus was born Lost Innocents.
**You can contact Anna via email - the address is found on her bio on her blog.   I encourage you to share your pictures with her, so that others (those who may not have seen their children) may have a chance at some closure and peace.

**  If you are doing something special to help spread the hope and healing after the loss of a child, and would like to be featured, please contact me at amanda.mccleskey@gmail.com, you can send me a brief description of your project/idea/blog and a link so that I can read up and learn for myself.  Thanks.

2 comments:

Matushka Anna said...

Thanks, Amanda! Just noticed this this morning. I hope the information will help someone.

Ausmerican Housewife said...

Someone else who "gets" what it's like to miscarry a tiny baby! Finally!

I did the "wait and see" method after we found out Julia had died. (I couldn't stand the thought of a d&c, it literally made me sick thinking of it when our "options" were discussed.) When my labor actually felt like labor, it was a relief and I am SO glad to see another mother describing it as relief!