Saturday, October 2, 2010

but on the inside

On the outside I wear a smile, and put myself together.  But, on the inside I wear a broken heart and feel like I'm falling apart.   On the outside I laugh and joke, but on the inside I want to scream.  I want to  yell, jump, punch...but on the inside - well on the inside I feel the same on that one.

I hope that I'll have the faith to keep dragging my body from bed each day, and I pray that God will continue to uphold me.  I feel so week and helpless.  I feel confused and out of sorts...maybe even a little bit out of my mind. 

In other news, our counseling has been going really well.  I think it's been helping us with our communication.  We listen more to each other, and I think we have been more patient with each other.  I'm happy with it, and the hope it has given us!

I just read back through that post - yep...I'm a little bit out of my mind.  :o)


Carol said...

I know i haven't gone through what you have exactly. So I cannot say I know how you feel, but I have gone through pain you wouldn't believe. I've lost loved one closed to me, My father, and my dear Aunt is scheduled for surgery(open heart) for Monday morning. I just know we have to lean on each other and lean on God as well. Things will get better. they really will. How long? I have no idea. I will be your friend until you get your happy back. I pray for you.

Kelly said...

Each day that you're able to get out of bed is another step in the right direction. Don't ever forget that. I'm proud of you.

Ausmerican Housewife said...

My thoughts exactly. Some days I'm climbing the walls to get out of the house, other days it's a herculean task to check the mailbox.

MrsH said...

Must. Get. Out. Of. Bed... and live a little every day. Courage :)

Patty said...

My prayers go to you... It's almost my daughter's one year in a couple of days. God has brought me so far in grief... Three months is a raw place to be for you. Thanks for sharing your deepest emotions with the world.