Now I know, 8 weeks doesn't seem like a lot to some folks...but to me it's HUGE. 8 weeks, and we are still here. 8 weeks and Noah is gaining weight, eating, sleeping, pooping...all like "normal". 8 weeks and I haven't damaged him...well...you know what I mean... :0)
I seriously thought (numerous times) that I should probably give him back. But give him back to who exactly?? I have had no idea what I'm doing for 8 weeks, and for my type-A personality - that's a tough pill to swallow. You see, for some reason I
It is so tough to balance being momma and wife, and still feel special/pretty, etc. Yesterday, for example, I got peed on, pooped on (2x's), puked on (3x's), cried at, screamed at, blank stared at, kicked and hit in the nose. Then, Matt came home and I had to try and scrape together enough energy to be his wife...
All I'm really saying (I guess) is that life is tough, no matter how you slice it. But, it's also gloriously amazing. When I think of the grief-stricken, snotty, bloody journey it took to get us to this point I am bewildered that it's actually my life I'm remembering. It seems a million years ago, and yet just a moment ago. I miss our boys so much, and every time I look at Noah's face I see them both. When he smiles, coos, cries...I wonder if that's what Rowan and/or Levi would have sounded or looked like. I think sometimes about how amazing it would be if there were 3 here and not just one.
Anyway, just a few random thoughts and snippit of where we are in our journey.