sort of a rant, I suppose

I have helped plan & been to 5 baby showers since last Wednesday.  Five. 
Of course, four of those were at one time!  :) 

I really, really, really want to have another baby.  We have been trying since Noah was about 18 months old (he will be 3 in July)  ..but I haven't been back on fertility meds, etc....  I just really, really, really wanted it to happen naturally. 

It feels like a metal baseball bat to the stomach every month that I'm not pregnant, every time someone else tell me they ARE pregnant...and every time I stop to realize that my body just can't/won't/doesn't do what it's meant to do...  Why do you think that is? 

And, while we are on the topic - why do people find it necessary to say things like "isn't it time you had another?"  "you're not getting any younger."  "noah needs a play mate, don't you want another baby?"  What ---  you don't know me --- this is what I really want to scream...but I politely smile & nod. 

And, in the last week I meet a woman who told me that she went the entire pregnancy not knowing she was preggo...went to ER with stomach cramping & back pain -- left with a baby.  Oy vey!! 

**My friends who are pregnant - I love you & this is nothing against you or your "condition" heehee -- I am just stuck in my feelings today & wanted to share a

what does your jewelry look like?

From Paz:

For anyone who has ever had a miscarriage, struggled with pregnancy, and all things infertile…there is a movement upon us that you might want to join. It’s rather simple actually: a discreet ribbon on your right wrist to signal to others that they are not alone in their struggles.

As someone who has had 5 m/c but am currently 5 months pregnant (YEAH), I wonder who looks at my big belly with sadness because they are in the month-to-month struggle. I mentioned to a friend that I wished there was some secret nod or international sign as if to say, this belly was hardwon. Well, she posted this quandary on her blog (http://www.stirrup-queens.blogspot.com/) and the response has been quite overwhelming…and a movement has been born!

The pomegranate-colored thread holds a two-fold purpose: to identify and create community between those experiencing infertility as well as create a starting point for a conversation. Women pregnant through any means, natural or A.R.T., families created through adoption or surrogacy, or couples trying to conceive during infertility or secondary infertility can wear the thread, identifying themselves to others in this silent community. At the same time, the string serves as a gateway to conversations about infertility when people inquire about its purpose.


These conversations are imperative if we are ever to remove the social stigma attached to infertility.

Tie on the thread because you’re not alone. Wear to make aware. Tie it on your right wrist. Notice it on others. Then, talk about it.