365

August 17th.   I suppose this date used to pass by me without me giving it much weight.  But these days it haunts me.  It has taunted me all month on the calendar, always sitting there, unassuming - right between the 16th and 18th.  I have been keeping myself busy, cleaning, painting, re-painting, more cleaning...but I couldn't escape today.  I couldn't escape the memories that flood my mind when I think about August 17th.

Matt and I had lunch together and then we celebrated our first son's 1st birthday.  Our little Rowan, my angel baby, was already gone when he got here, but we celebrate him none the less.  We put out new sunflowers at the grave site (shared with his little brother Levi).

 

 Giving someone a sunflower represents your devotion to them.   Devotion is defined as earnest attachment to a cause, person, etc.  I am most assuredly 'earnestly attached' to my little love.  
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  Rowan,


  Daddy and I were talking and we cannot believe a year has passed since we held you. We love you so much little man.  We miss you, and we think about you all the time.  I love to tell everyone about you.  You are my little angel.  I love you so much baby.  I cannot wait to spend all of eternity with you and Levi.  Your mommy and daddy love you and the hole you made in us will not quit aching.  We love love love you.

momma & daddy