Friday, October 9, 2009


Lately I've been in tears, and just grieved for those who do not know the love and mercy and joy of Christ. I was bawling just two nights ago as I thought of all the young families and mothers who have lost children to miscarriage or in some other unimaginable way...

My heart literally breaks for them but especially for those who have no hope in Christ. How can we reach these people? And I know that is what God has called me to do ...and that is why I HAD to start Rowan's Hope. I don't feel strong enough, and I don't feel smart enough, and I don't feel alot of things...but Jesus is bigger than my feelings of apathy and anger and sadness. I realized that if I didn't let Him use me, then someone else would use me... Can I get an Amen?! :0)

I feel a burning deep in my soul to tell people of the hope I have found in Jesus Christ and of the renewed hope even since losing Rowan, especially since losing Rowan. I heard very distinctly years ago from some folks who I believe very much are gifted in the ways of prophecy that I would be a source of the Lord's joy for others, and that although I would at times wear garments of sadness I would forever be cloaked in the joy of the Lord. Now, it was YEARS ago, and it didn't make any sense because I thought life was fine, and I was satisfied with that. However, last night as I was journaling, and reading the Bible, a slip of paper fell out of the back of my journal, and on it were the words I just shared with you...

God will use EVERYTHING for His glory. If I learn nothing else from the experience of losing my baby, I will have learned that Jesus will turn our weeping into laughing and He will use EVERYTHING for His glory and purpose.

So, what was I reading in the Bible? A word that I will stand on forever, and a word that I know my God pointed out just for me.

Isaiah 49:1(b)-3
Before I was born the LORD called me;
from my birth he has made mention of my name. He made my mouth like a sharpened sword, in the shadow of His hand He hid me; He made me into a polished arrow and
concealed me in His quiver. He said to me, "You are my servant, Amanda, in whom I will display my splendor."


Nicole said...

"Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy. He who continually goes forth weeping, bearing seed for sowing, shall doubtless come again with rejoicing, bringing his sheaves with him." Psalm 126:5-6

April said...

"...weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning." Psalm 30:5(b)