My heart literally breaks for them but especially for those who have no hope in Christ. How can we reach these people? And I know that is what God has called me to do ...and that is why I HAD to start Rowan's Hope. I don't feel strong enough, and I don't feel smart enough, and I don't feel alot of things...but Jesus is bigger than my feelings of apathy and anger and sadness. I realized that if I didn't let Him use me, then someone else would use me... Can I get an Amen?! :0)
I feel a burning deep in my soul to tell people of the hope I have found in Jesus Christ and of the renewed hope even since losing Rowan, especially since losing Rowan. I heard very distinctly years ago from some folks who I believe very much are gifted in the ways of prophecy that I would be a source of the Lord's joy for others, and that although I would at times wear garments of sadness I would forever be cloaked in the joy of the Lord. Now, it was YEARS ago, and it didn't make any sense because I thought life was fine, and I was satisfied with that. However, last night as I was journaling, and reading the Bible, a slip of paper fell out of the back of my journal, and on it were the words I just shared with you...
God will use EVERYTHING for His glory. If I learn nothing else from the experience of losing my baby, I will have learned that Jesus will turn our weeping into laughing and He will use EVERYTHING for His glory and purpose.
So, what was I reading in the Bible? A word that I will stand on forever, and a word that I know my God pointed out just for me.
Before I was born the LORD called me;
from my birth he has made mention of my name. He made my mouth like a sharpened sword, in the shadow of His hand He hid me; He made me into a polished arrow and
concealed me in His quiver. He said to me, "You are my servant, Amanda, in whom I will display my splendor."