Wednesday, October 14, 2009

There is a room I dare not go...

it is full of silly lions, and zebras ...
all the things that I prepared for you
there’s a crib that lies empty
and a swing standing silently
diapers, creams, lotions and powder
blankets, shoes, tiny hangers and clothes

the pain is immense when I pass through this room
my heart is torn open again and again

so I rush past the door so that I don’t think about it
rush out the front door so I don’t think about it
rush to bed so I don’t think about it
rush...because the pain is too big

Everyday is a production, a play, and I’m just an actress
doing her best to smile and stand up straight

Oh God... Help me because I cannot help myself.

From a Jordin Sparks song :
made me think of how I’ve been feeling this week -

If I should die before I wake
it's 'cause you took my breath away
Losing you is like living in a world with no air

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there

But somehow I'm still alive inside
You took my breath, but I survived

Tell me how I'm supposed to breathe with no air
Can't live, can't breathe with no air
It's how I feel whenever you ain't there

1 comment:

Heather Harrington said...

Wow Amanda, I read this I see such an awesome child of God. You have taked something that the world says should stop you and turned it in to something that gloryifies God. You are both in my prayers as you navigate this unwanted and new life you both are in. Blessings to you.