Monday, December 27, 2010

A Stitch In Time

We met with one of the 3 MFM's today.  There are 3 in the practice, and any one of the 3 could be the one to perform my cerclage.  We met 2 of them when I was in the hospital after suffering PPROM with Levi.  They all three have a similar bedside manner, and all three put me right at ease.  So, I'm happy with the choice and have no opinion about which one performs the procedure.  I feel heard, understood and relieved.

My cerclage will be on January 31st.  It seems a world away, but at the same time it feels really close.  I will be about 13w3d on the 31st.  I wanted to have the procedure at 11 weeks, as my regular OB told me that was the earliest it could be done.  But this group of doctors normally won't do a cerclage until 16 weeks!!  Well, I certainly wasn't waiting that long!!  But, they were understanding, and given my prior losses, we will be doing it at 13weeks.  Then, I'll have 2 weeks of mandatory bed rest and hopefully I'll be able to resume some activity.  However, if my cervical length is not long enough, I'll be on bed rest for the remainder of this pregnancy.  Either way...I'll be ecstatic -- I can lay in bed as long as this baby needs me to!! 

We are STILL waiting to hear about our status with medicaid.  It's so ridiculous this system!  I would think that it would be easy for working, tax-paying, citizens to obtain medicaid when they need it.  But, that is apparently not the case.  Anyhow, I will not get up on that soap box right now!!

We are seeing Dr. P tomorrow and hopefully we'll have some pics of the little bambino.  The pics from today's visit are much akin to a picture of big foot.  So, maybe tomorrow.

I am still in a great deal of shock that I am pregnant.  After Levi died I wondered (like everyday) if I'd get another chance.  I am working hard not to be afraid, it is difficult.  I just keep praying, all day --- every day.  When doubt enters my mind I try to call up some Bible verses to chase it away.

We are reading through the most amazing book right now, called Birthed in Prayer.  It has been such a blessing.  There are prayers, and places to keep notes/prayers.  I simply love it and cannot recommend it enough.  I definitely think this book is a must read for us momma's of little angels.  Although none of the stories (at least that I've read so far) involve women who have lost children, I still feel like I can relate to some of them.  The first portion of the book is really about not losing yourself as you become a mother, and I think that is important whether your child lives or dies.

Oh God, please let this baby stay here for a very long time.

4 comments:

Kelly said...

Praying for you that your baby stays in there for a very long time, too.

Melissa said...

Thanks so much for the book recommendation. We are considering trying to conceive again in a few months and I feel more than anything I need to be mentally prepared for a difficult pregnancy and having something that is spiritually based sounds just right. Hoping for a wonderful pregnancy for you.

Ausmerican Housewife said...

I didn't know you were expecting! Levi and Rowan are big brothers! :D :D :D

jhjonze said...

I wish you all the best! (If you don't know why I am I commented two posts down). Congrats again!