I have been pondering a lot lately the things that we've done to ensure that Noah makes it here, safe & sound. I have attended a birthing class & breastfeeding class in the last 4 days... It was overwhelming to say the least. First, we were the oldest in each class. I am 30 and Matt is 29. I find that odd, but whatever, it doesn't really bother me. What bothered me the most was the youthful look of most of the extremely pregnant women in the room. Don't get me wrong, my mom was pregnant with me while she was 16 & while I certainly don't condone teenage (or premarital) sex, I am not a fool & I know it happens.
That being said, the extreme immaturity of the girls in the class (I won't even begin with the guys - seriously made me ill) shocked me - bad! I cannot believe that these girls will become mothers in mere weeks. Just knowing what we have been through to get to this point - I was livid after each class. The (dare I say it) unfairness of it all!!! There are women, mature, amazing women desperate to become mothers & yet for some reason the gift is with held from them & then I go into a room full of these type of girls (I cannot even call them women).
When asked the question, "what scares you most about the birthing experience?" My answer - the baby may die, after all this time and all this effort & he still might die - there are so many factors. Other answers included, 'pooping on the table' (seriously), 'having shots,' 'having a c-section.' Oh, my. Sure, having a c-section isn't my ideal, but it doesn't scare me... And, please stop asking if it's going to hurt - seriously, YES!! You are about to squeeze a watermelon through a very small orifice - it's going to hurt! And, if your boyfriend asks one more question about sex or saggy breasts I'm going to be on him like a spider monkey! Yikes.
Sorry for the rant but sometimes you have to just get these things out.
Showing posts with label pregnant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pregnant. Show all posts
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
Here we are...
How many weeks: 19 weeks 1 day - can this be?!?!?
How am I feeling: humbled
Doctor’s Appointment: yesterday (03-11), OB, HR 160
Weight Gain: 3 lbs
Maternity Clothes: maternity pants, some maternity tops, mostly flowy summer dresses
Baby Preparation: garage sale next Sat to cleanse all the junk that has piled up in the nursery over the last two years, and then we can start to make the room look like someone will be living there. :0)
Gender: ALL boy
Sleep: I sleep well b/c of the Prometrium. :0)
Best moment this week: Seeing that I was approved for Medicaid!!!
Movement: Feeling him all the time. He's so active! I love it!!
Food cravings: pretty much anything salty...the saltier the better!
What I miss: uhhhh....beer.... :0)
What I am looking forward to: Today. Today is officially the longest I've ever been pregnant.
Milestones: April 15th...24 weeks...Viability day!!
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
what keeps you awake?
I have been dreaming about Levi lately. I was looking over my blog design a few days ago, and I have these countdown thingies at the very bottom that count the years, months, days that Rowan & Levi have been gone. I was blown away by the big numbers by each name. It brought me to tears.
Rowan's due date was February 25, 2010....that means it has already been a year since he was to be born. And, gulp, this August 17th will be 2 years since he left for Heaven. Two years. Can that be right? My sweet little one, my first child. Gone nearly 2 years... I was just caught off guard.
And Levi, on February 28th it had been 8 months since he was born and died. 8 months...that's almost a year. A year. My little lion gone nearly a year. My life has been such a blur these last years...rushing by...a blur of heartache, grief, love, life, death...in and out of focus...
I'll be 19 weeks pregnant with this current womb dweller on Friday! That is nearly 5 months. I am just caught off guard again.
Anyhow, in my dreams about Levi he is not a baby. He is a big boy. He has curly brown hair and looks just like his daddy. He seems to be a teenager, but not an adult... It's strange. In the first dream I didn't know him, but he rushed to me and hugged me. I woke up in tears. I thought it was my hormones and fell back asleep. In the next dream he was there and called me momma, and I instantly knew him. We just walked through this field and laughed....and then I woke up. I felt so good. And then I just missed him so much. So very much.
I sometimes lay awake at night concerned that I won't think of Levi & Rowan so much once my little one arrives. Then I wonder if I'll spend too much time thinking of them...what if he looks like them...just like them...will it be too much? What kind of mother will I be to this boy? Will I be healed enough from my broken heart to love him like he deserves?
Rowan's due date was February 25, 2010....that means it has already been a year since he was to be born. And, gulp, this August 17th will be 2 years since he left for Heaven. Two years. Can that be right? My sweet little one, my first child. Gone nearly 2 years... I was just caught off guard.
And Levi, on February 28th it had been 8 months since he was born and died. 8 months...that's almost a year. A year. My little lion gone nearly a year. My life has been such a blur these last years...rushing by...a blur of heartache, grief, love, life, death...in and out of focus...
I'll be 19 weeks pregnant with this current womb dweller on Friday! That is nearly 5 months. I am just caught off guard again.
Anyhow, in my dreams about Levi he is not a baby. He is a big boy. He has curly brown hair and looks just like his daddy. He seems to be a teenager, but not an adult... It's strange. In the first dream I didn't know him, but he rushed to me and hugged me. I woke up in tears. I thought it was my hormones and fell back asleep. In the next dream he was there and called me momma, and I instantly knew him. We just walked through this field and laughed....and then I woke up. I felt so good. And then I just missed him so much. So very much.
I sometimes lay awake at night concerned that I won't think of Levi & Rowan so much once my little one arrives. Then I wonder if I'll spend too much time thinking of them...what if he looks like them...just like them...will it be too much? What kind of mother will I be to this boy? Will I be healed enough from my broken heart to love him like he deserves?
Saturday, March 5, 2011
so close
I am 18w1d preggo today. Last Saturday, Feb 26th I was 17w1d, and that is the longest I've ever been pregnant without any 'issues'. Praise God.
At yesterday's appointment we were so pleased. Little babe is 8oz!! And he was so wriggly. He kept his hand in front of his face the entire scan, so we got no cute pics. We did confirm for the 3rd time that he is ALL boy! He just kicked away every time they pressed the u/s wand into my tummy. He was measuring 18w2d, and that makes me proud! My sweet one's have all been so big & tough!! :0)
I am so nervous because in just 7 days, next Saturday, March 12th...I will have been pregnant for 19w1d, and that my friends will be the longest I've ever been pregnant. When you have lost children during pregnancy you anxiously anticipate every milestone... For example...next Saturday is a HUGE milestone for us. We are praying that God gives us 7 more days with this small one. And, then, we will ask for 5 more weeks to get us to April 15th at which point I'll be 24 weeks. And that is VIABILITY DAY!! Then each week after that is going to be prayerfully, lovingly, accepted as a gift...as all the weeks before them.
My cervix measured at 4cm and baby's heart rate was 147!! In other news, I've gained 2 pounds so far!!
I wish I had cute pics to post, but here is the huggies pic of what baby should be looking like!
At yesterday's appointment we were so pleased. Little babe is 8oz!! And he was so wriggly. He kept his hand in front of his face the entire scan, so we got no cute pics. We did confirm for the 3rd time that he is ALL boy! He just kicked away every time they pressed the u/s wand into my tummy. He was measuring 18w2d, and that makes me proud! My sweet one's have all been so big & tough!! :0)
I am so nervous because in just 7 days, next Saturday, March 12th...I will have been pregnant for 19w1d, and that my friends will be the longest I've ever been pregnant. When you have lost children during pregnancy you anxiously anticipate every milestone... For example...next Saturday is a HUGE milestone for us. We are praying that God gives us 7 more days with this small one. And, then, we will ask for 5 more weeks to get us to April 15th at which point I'll be 24 weeks. And that is VIABILITY DAY!! Then each week after that is going to be prayerfully, lovingly, accepted as a gift...as all the weeks before them.
My cervix measured at 4cm and baby's heart rate was 147!! In other news, I've gained 2 pounds so far!!
I wish I had cute pics to post, but here is the huggies pic of what baby should be looking like!
Friday, February 18, 2011
Time is Marching On
I am 16 weeks pregnant with little babe #3 today. 16 weeks. I mean, I can remember counting the hours, the moments...isn't it strange that I feel like the time has flown by this time??! 16 weeks.
I'm on the edge of that time in my pregnancy when Levi was getting ready to come. I was 17 weeks the day I went in for my CL measurement and we found out that Levi was really going to be Levi - a boy. And also the day that we found out I had 0mm of CL left. I didn't think it would be such a big deal since Levi lived for 2 more weeks and didn't come, or go, until 19 weeks. But, I am feeling very sad about it. I miss that boy so very much. I try imagining what it would be like if Levi had lived longer than than hour... I wonder what I'd be like, what he'd be like... And then I remember that we wouldn't have this little bit of hope growing inside...and without Rowan's little life being snuffed out so quickly we wouldn't have met Levi... And then I just can't bear to think anymore.
My heart aches with a heaviness that cannot be captured in words. I would love to say that the sadness is covered over and washed away with the joy that I now feel...but it isn't. I'd love to know that when this one comes home with us this summer that I'll feel so happy that I won't remember how sad I've been these last few years. But, I know far too well that it won't be true. Indeed, I expect it will make it a little worse. But still I am overjoyed for the gift I've been given, the privilege of carrying this sweet babe, and the hope of a long life for him.
We go in for a follow-up with the OB on Monday. I am looking forward to seeing this baby again! I won't see the MFM again until March 4th. At my appointment on the 11th I was moved from full bed rest to modified bed rest. I can be up a little longer, but then right back to bed. It's a really sweet time for me to spend with my son...the one growing inside and also a time to reflect and remember Rowan & Levi. I have chosen to relish in this time, as I know when he comes there will be little time for resting! So, for now, I am soaking it up.
I got signed up for WIC today. What a fantastic program. Then, Matt took me to Publix and pushed me in the wheelchair so we could do some shopping. We spent $44 and that is 1/3 what we usually spend...$44 with coupons & WIC checks. Fantastic program. I also got lots of information about breastfeeding and birthing classes. It was so clean and not crowded inside. So much different than my Medicaid experience.
I have had a full day with a wide range of emotions. So, now, it's time for a nap!!
I'm on the edge of that time in my pregnancy when Levi was getting ready to come. I was 17 weeks the day I went in for my CL measurement and we found out that Levi was really going to be Levi - a boy. And also the day that we found out I had 0mm of CL left. I didn't think it would be such a big deal since Levi lived for 2 more weeks and didn't come, or go, until 19 weeks. But, I am feeling very sad about it. I miss that boy so very much. I try imagining what it would be like if Levi had lived longer than than hour... I wonder what I'd be like, what he'd be like... And then I remember that we wouldn't have this little bit of hope growing inside...and without Rowan's little life being snuffed out so quickly we wouldn't have met Levi... And then I just can't bear to think anymore.
My heart aches with a heaviness that cannot be captured in words. I would love to say that the sadness is covered over and washed away with the joy that I now feel...but it isn't. I'd love to know that when this one comes home with us this summer that I'll feel so happy that I won't remember how sad I've been these last few years. But, I know far too well that it won't be true. Indeed, I expect it will make it a little worse. But still I am overjoyed for the gift I've been given, the privilege of carrying this sweet babe, and the hope of a long life for him.
We go in for a follow-up with the OB on Monday. I am looking forward to seeing this baby again! I won't see the MFM again until March 4th. At my appointment on the 11th I was moved from full bed rest to modified bed rest. I can be up a little longer, but then right back to bed. It's a really sweet time for me to spend with my son...the one growing inside and also a time to reflect and remember Rowan & Levi. I have chosen to relish in this time, as I know when he comes there will be little time for resting! So, for now, I am soaking it up.
I got signed up for WIC today. What a fantastic program. Then, Matt took me to Publix and pushed me in the wheelchair so we could do some shopping. We spent $44 and that is 1/3 what we usually spend...$44 with coupons & WIC checks. Fantastic program. I also got lots of information about breastfeeding and birthing classes. It was so clean and not crowded inside. So much different than my Medicaid experience.
I have had a full day with a wide range of emotions. So, now, it's time for a nap!!
Friday, February 11, 2011
we'rehavingababyit'saboy
It's official!! It's a BOY!!!!
Had our follow-up today with the MFM. I'm 15 weeks today. The ultrasound tech said, "If I can see the anatomy, do you want to know the sex?" "Heck yes we do" was my reply, and she dropped the ultrasound thingy on my tummy - BAM!!! Money shot!! It is definitely a boy!
Oh, and my cervical length - yeah, that's right!!!!! 4.6cm!!!!! Holy Mackerel!
Had our follow-up today with the MFM. I'm 15 weeks today. The ultrasound tech said, "If I can see the anatomy, do you want to know the sex?" "Heck yes we do" was my reply, and she dropped the ultrasound thingy on my tummy - BAM!!! Money shot!! It is definitely a boy!
Oh, and my cervical length - yeah, that's right!!!!! 4.6cm!!!!! Holy Mackerel!
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Update From the Hubby
Update From the Hubby:
Amanda's surgery went flawlessly. The doctor who performed the surgery is the best in the city. He placed the two cerclage stitches very high and very tight, just under the bladder. They had to run blue dye into Amanda to make sure the bladder or the ureters weren't punctured in the process. All things look fine.
Amanda's biggest hurdle: the needles. She went through it like a champ! Because Amanda has deep veins in her arms, they had to attach her I.V. via her hand - Ouch! They shot her with Lidocaine beforehand, though, so the "stick" wasn't felt. Probably the proudest moment for me, pre-surgery, was when the Anesthesiologist gave Amanda the option of knock-out gas and "the needle." The knock-out gas would pose a greater threat to the baby. Amanda faced her greatest fear and, like a true BLM, opted for the needle...which ended up being a simple spinal block, not an epidural.
The surgery took approximately 15 minutes, and then off to recovery!
The doctor warned that Amanda would be sore for a few days. This was a major understatement. Because of Amanda being pregnant, the nurse staff wouldn't give her the "good stuff." Amanda equates the pain to contraction pains which never let up. She's been on a regiment of Motrin (and Tylenol 3 for the unbearable pain).
Amanda's been instructed to stay on pelvic rest (in bed) for two weeks. She'll then be re-evaluated, and it will be determined if she'll need to stay on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy. She did get her cervix measured, and it was still at 3.4cm, what it was at our last OB/GYN appointment. We also had an ultrasound done to make sure the baby was doing fine. I'm happy to say that Baby M was just chillin' with his/her legs crossed, waving "Hi" to everyone, as if to say, "I'm doing fine and won't be going anywhere for 20+ weeks."
One last comment:
When the doctor took me aside in the waiting room to tell me the news, he was all smiles (he remembered Amanda from when he attempted the same cerclage surgery for her last August, when Amanda's water broke before the surgery even began). He said that Amanda will not lose this baby due to an incompetent cervix. That's phenomenal news! Please keep Amanda in your prayers (as we do with all of you) that the pain will subside quickly and that Baby M will stay safe until (s)he is ready to meet his/her mommy and daddy for the first time as a healthy newborn.
-the Hubby
Amanda's surgery went flawlessly. The doctor who performed the surgery is the best in the city. He placed the two cerclage stitches very high and very tight, just under the bladder. They had to run blue dye into Amanda to make sure the bladder or the ureters weren't punctured in the process. All things look fine.
Amanda's biggest hurdle: the needles. She went through it like a champ! Because Amanda has deep veins in her arms, they had to attach her I.V. via her hand - Ouch! They shot her with Lidocaine beforehand, though, so the "stick" wasn't felt. Probably the proudest moment for me, pre-surgery, was when the Anesthesiologist gave Amanda the option of knock-out gas and "the needle." The knock-out gas would pose a greater threat to the baby. Amanda faced her greatest fear and, like a true BLM, opted for the needle...which ended up being a simple spinal block, not an epidural.
The surgery took approximately 15 minutes, and then off to recovery!
The doctor warned that Amanda would be sore for a few days. This was a major understatement. Because of Amanda being pregnant, the nurse staff wouldn't give her the "good stuff." Amanda equates the pain to contraction pains which never let up. She's been on a regiment of Motrin (and Tylenol 3 for the unbearable pain).
Amanda's been instructed to stay on pelvic rest (in bed) for two weeks. She'll then be re-evaluated, and it will be determined if she'll need to stay on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy. She did get her cervix measured, and it was still at 3.4cm, what it was at our last OB/GYN appointment. We also had an ultrasound done to make sure the baby was doing fine. I'm happy to say that Baby M was just chillin' with his/her legs crossed, waving "Hi" to everyone, as if to say, "I'm doing fine and won't be going anywhere for 20+ weeks."
One last comment:
When the doctor took me aside in the waiting room to tell me the news, he was all smiles (he remembered Amanda from when he attempted the same cerclage surgery for her last August, when Amanda's water broke before the surgery even began). He said that Amanda will not lose this baby due to an incompetent cervix. That's phenomenal news! Please keep Amanda in your prayers (as we do with all of you) that the pain will subside quickly and that Baby M will stay safe until (s)he is ready to meet his/her mommy and daddy for the first time as a healthy newborn.
-the Hubby
Monday, January 31, 2011
Today is the day
Today is the day!! I am so excited, nervous and hungry. :0)
My cerclage is going to be placed at one o'clock (cst) today. I am so ready! I am so ready! I am so scared too!! If you think of it, please just lift up my sweet baby today. I am praying that God will keep him/her safe for the next 6 months and that this procedure will bring us one step closer to a baby that we get to keep.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! I am so excited!!
My cerclage is going to be placed at one o'clock (cst) today. I am so ready! I am so ready! I am so scared too!! If you think of it, please just lift up my sweet baby today. I am praying that God will keep him/her safe for the next 6 months and that this procedure will bring us one step closer to a baby that we get to keep.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! I am so excited!!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
scared, afraid, and worried. oh my!
It’s an overwhelming feeling. It’s a fearful place and time.
I try so hard not to be afraid, but … I just am. I am afraid that if this sweet one dies I will not be able to stand back up. I am afraid that people will judge us, even condemn us, for trying again (and failing again). I am afraid that my body will betray my sweet angel and force him/her out before it’s time. I am afraid that this will be our last chance. I am afraid for my relationship with Matt and with God… I am just afraid.
I keep reminding myself that whatever happens, happens. I don’t mean that to sound cold or harsh. But it’s true. And, being afraid isn’t going to change things. So, I can live joyously and expectantly – OR, I can live fearfully. And living fearfully isn’t really living. I want to remember every precious moment of this journey, and to cherish this time. I do not want to be so consumed with fear that I miss out on special moments with this babe or with Matt, or with God.
It is so hard to know in your heart one thing and in your head another.
I am pregnant for the third time since May of 2009 (that’s 19 months). I have been pregnant for 10 of the last 19 months. When my due date rolls around, I will have been pregnant for 16 out 27 months. Isn’t that astounding. It is to me. My body is probably going as crazy as my hormones!!
Monday, December 27, 2010
A Stitch In Time
We met with one of the 3 MFM's today. There are 3 in the practice, and any one of the 3 could be the one to perform my cerclage. We met 2 of them when I was in the hospital after suffering PPROM with Levi. They all three have a similar bedside manner, and all three put me right at ease. So, I'm happy with the choice and have no opinion about which one performs the procedure. I feel heard, understood and relieved.
My cerclage will be on January 31st. It seems a world away, but at the same time it feels really close. I will be about 13w3d on the 31st. I wanted to have the procedure at 11 weeks, as my regular OB told me that was the earliest it could be done. But this group of doctors normally won't do a cerclage until 16 weeks!! Well, I certainly wasn't waiting that long!! But, they were understanding, and given my prior losses, we will be doing it at 13weeks. Then, I'll have 2 weeks of mandatory bed rest and hopefully I'll be able to resume some activity. However, if my cervical length is not long enough, I'll be on bed rest for the remainder of this pregnancy. Either way...I'll be ecstatic -- I can lay in bed as long as this baby needs me to!!
We are STILL waiting to hear about our status with medicaid. It's so ridiculous this system! I would think that it would be easy for working, tax-paying, citizens to obtain medicaid when they need it. But, that is apparently not the case. Anyhow, I will not get up on that soap box right now!!
We are seeing Dr. P tomorrow and hopefully we'll have some pics of the little bambino. The pics from today's visit are much akin to a picture of big foot. So, maybe tomorrow.
I am still in a great deal of shock that I am pregnant. After Levi died I wondered (like everyday) if I'd get another chance. I am working hard not to be afraid, it is difficult. I just keep praying, all day --- every day. When doubt enters my mind I try to call up some Bible verses to chase it away.
We are reading through the most amazing book right now, called Birthed in Prayer. It has been such a blessing. There are prayers, and places to keep notes/prayers. I simply love it and cannot recommend it enough. I definitely think this book is a must read for us momma's of little angels. Although none of the stories (at least that I've read so far) involve women who have lost children, I still feel like I can relate to some of them. The first portion of the book is really about not losing yourself as you become a mother, and I think that is important whether your child lives or dies.
Oh God, please let this baby stay here for a very long time.
My cerclage will be on January 31st. It seems a world away, but at the same time it feels really close. I will be about 13w3d on the 31st. I wanted to have the procedure at 11 weeks, as my regular OB told me that was the earliest it could be done. But this group of doctors normally won't do a cerclage until 16 weeks!! Well, I certainly wasn't waiting that long!! But, they were understanding, and given my prior losses, we will be doing it at 13weeks. Then, I'll have 2 weeks of mandatory bed rest and hopefully I'll be able to resume some activity. However, if my cervical length is not long enough, I'll be on bed rest for the remainder of this pregnancy. Either way...I'll be ecstatic -- I can lay in bed as long as this baby needs me to!!
We are STILL waiting to hear about our status with medicaid. It's so ridiculous this system! I would think that it would be easy for working, tax-paying, citizens to obtain medicaid when they need it. But, that is apparently not the case. Anyhow, I will not get up on that soap box right now!!
We are seeing Dr. P tomorrow and hopefully we'll have some pics of the little bambino. The pics from today's visit are much akin to a picture of big foot. So, maybe tomorrow.
I am still in a great deal of shock that I am pregnant. After Levi died I wondered (like everyday) if I'd get another chance. I am working hard not to be afraid, it is difficult. I just keep praying, all day --- every day. When doubt enters my mind I try to call up some Bible verses to chase it away.
We are reading through the most amazing book right now, called Birthed in Prayer. It has been such a blessing. There are prayers, and places to keep notes/prayers. I simply love it and cannot recommend it enough. I definitely think this book is a must read for us momma's of little angels. Although none of the stories (at least that I've read so far) involve women who have lost children, I still feel like I can relate to some of them. The first portion of the book is really about not losing yourself as you become a mother, and I think that is important whether your child lives or dies.
Oh God, please let this baby stay here for a very long time.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
A new hope
I won a contest a few weeks back (on another blog). I won a 'sign' with any wording I wanted from a place called Everyday Lettering. There were so many gorgeous items and letters. I chose a simple board style for my prize, and the word HOPE. This is our word for the upcoming year.
Here is a picture of my sweet board:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“From the fullness of grace we have received one blessing after another” - John 1:16
And, now (drum roll please) what we hope for.... A safe, uncomplicated, ordinary, pregnancy. Yes, that's right, I am pregnant with baby #3. We are HOPING and praying with all we have that this sweet little one will join us here in July/August and get to stay for a VERY LONG TIME!! Praise God for He is the healer of broken things, and restorer of lost time!
We prayed for this child and the Lord has granted us what we asked of Him. – I Samuel 1:27
Here is a picture of my sweet love:
**this picture is from about 5 weeks, and I am 8 weeks today!! Oh the Lord has been so good to us!! THREE children!!! Even though Rowan & Levi do not journey here with us...THREE!!! Oh we are most blessed indeed!!
I am seeing the MFM on Monday the 27th. Please join with us in praying that (1) we get approved for medicaid ASAP and (2) cervical lengths are good & I can have the surgery I need very soon!!!
Here is a picture of my sweet board:
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“From the fullness of grace we have received one blessing after another” - John 1:16
And, now (drum roll please) what we hope for.... A safe, uncomplicated, ordinary, pregnancy. Yes, that's right, I am pregnant with baby #3. We are HOPING and praying with all we have that this sweet little one will join us here in July/August and get to stay for a VERY LONG TIME!! Praise God for He is the healer of broken things, and restorer of lost time!
We prayed for this child and the Lord has granted us what we asked of Him. – I Samuel 1:27
Here is a picture of my sweet love:
I am seeing the MFM on Monday the 27th. Please join with us in praying that (1) we get approved for medicaid ASAP and (2) cervical lengths are good & I can have the surgery I need very soon!!!
Friday, June 18, 2010
One More Day
Today I am 17 weeks 4 days pregnant. We just got home from Dr. Prafke's office. Levi's heart is still pumping away, and I can still feel him swishing around. Praise God -- he appears to be just as stubborn as me!!
Please continue to pray for us, as the doctors keep repeating that my water break when Levi is so little leaves him NO chance to make it ... However, that is contrary to what I KNOW my JESUS can do, and what I have read online. I have researched PPROM until I feel like my head will explode, but there are cases out there of success and hope. To add to the hope is the fact that my temp is stable, and I have NO cramping or bleeding!! I truly believe it is the power of all our prayers to the Father. My health is vital to the sustained life of Levi.
So, again, we have the tiny hope that we are holding fast too. Our God is big, and mighty, and it would appear that our little Levi is as well. Please continue to pray for us, as we are scared and stressed. Being in bed nearly 24-hrs a day is no fun AT ALL!
Oh, and please don't be offended if we do not take your calls. We are not always in a position or mind to talk - however, we do appreciate your kind words, thoughts, and prayers.
Matt, Amanda & Levi
Prayer concerns:
1. Levi's heart beat
2. fluid levels to be replinished & sustained
3. NO infections for me or Levi
4. Mental/Emotional stability for me and Matt
5. Grace, mercy and peace
6. Room in the womb for Levi's limbs to continue to grow properly
7. Enough fluid each day so that Levi's lungs continue to develop
8. NO CRAMPING - NO BLEEDING
Please continue to pray for us, as the doctors keep repeating that my water break when Levi is so little leaves him NO chance to make it ... However, that is contrary to what I KNOW my JESUS can do, and what I have read online. I have researched PPROM until I feel like my head will explode, but there are cases out there of success and hope. To add to the hope is the fact that my temp is stable, and I have NO cramping or bleeding!! I truly believe it is the power of all our prayers to the Father. My health is vital to the sustained life of Levi.
So, again, we have the tiny hope that we are holding fast too. Our God is big, and mighty, and it would appear that our little Levi is as well. Please continue to pray for us, as we are scared and stressed. Being in bed nearly 24-hrs a day is no fun AT ALL!
Oh, and please don't be offended if we do not take your calls. We are not always in a position or mind to talk - however, we do appreciate your kind words, thoughts, and prayers.
Matt, Amanda & Levi
Prayer concerns:
1. Levi's heart beat
2. fluid levels to be replinished & sustained
3. NO infections for me or Levi
4. Mental/Emotional stability for me and Matt
5. Grace, mercy and peace
6. Room in the womb for Levi's limbs to continue to grow properly
7. Enough fluid each day so that Levi's lungs continue to develop
8. NO CRAMPING - NO BLEEDING
Monday, June 7, 2010
some time
It's been some time since I've posted anything here. Well, actually this is my first post here, but you know what I mean.
I've decided to combine my two blogs, Rowan's Hope and my original blog (evermovingforward). I deleted the ever moving forward blog, but I can't seem to bring myself to delete my blog about Rowan. So, I've transferred all the posts, but I'll leave it up also. I just won't be posting there anymore.
Life has this funny way of moving forward, whether we are ready for the move or not. In a way it's nice because you know you are constantly in motion, never really stuck in one situation/place for too long. But there are moments, phrases in time that I wish could last, or that I feel should last...just a little longer.
I am 16 weeks pregnant today. It seems so BIG to write that out, so easy to type those 6 words. It carries a weight I cannot describe, and a joy that I cannot put into words. My God is so mighty and so big. He never left my side, though I faltered and stumbled...He lifted me every time.
Being pregnant makes me miss my angel Rowan. But it also gives me a feeling of being close to him again. This was all I shared with Rowan, so it is a time to feel those things again. It is sad, and happy, all at once...and most days I don't know what to do with myself.
I've decided to combine my two blogs, Rowan's Hope and my original blog (evermovingforward). I deleted the ever moving forward blog, but I can't seem to bring myself to delete my blog about Rowan. So, I've transferred all the posts, but I'll leave it up also. I just won't be posting there anymore.
Life has this funny way of moving forward, whether we are ready for the move or not. In a way it's nice because you know you are constantly in motion, never really stuck in one situation/place for too long. But there are moments, phrases in time that I wish could last, or that I feel should last...just a little longer.
I am 16 weeks pregnant today. It seems so BIG to write that out, so easy to type those 6 words. It carries a weight I cannot describe, and a joy that I cannot put into words. My God is so mighty and so big. He never left my side, though I faltered and stumbled...He lifted me every time.
Being pregnant makes me miss my angel Rowan. But it also gives me a feeling of being close to him again. This was all I shared with Rowan, so it is a time to feel those things again. It is sad, and happy, all at once...and most days I don't know what to do with myself.
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