Friday, August 5, 2011

in due time

Today is August 5th.  Today is my due date. 

However, I just rocked my 18 day old son to sleep.  My crying, sneezing, poopy son.  My living son.  After all this time (a LONG 18 days) I still look at him and weep...I am overwhelmed at the goodness of God.  I still cannot believe this boy is here, and he's ours...and we get to keep him.  Overwhelmed.  Over-joyed.  Sleep deprived.  Blessed.  Humbled.

Daily I think of all that was lost and the journey to get to this place.  When I feel like I can't go on because I'm tired, or because Noah won't stop crying...I have to step outside myself and remind myself of what it took to be here.  What it took to be his momma, and how amazing the whole ride has been.

I won't lie...  Bringing home this boy has been WAY more intense than I imagined.  WAY more!  I've cried so much in the last 18 days because I have no idea what I'm doing, I sometimes feel I'm doing nothing right, and I am often not sleeping or eating very well.  Being a parent is tough stuff.  It is certainly not for the faint of heart.  And, breastfeeding...phew!  That's a whole blog post in itself...and I certainly don't have the strength for it now.  I will say that is brings a feeling of closeness and 'momma-ness' that I don't imagine many things do...

And, Matt.  Oh, what a sweet, proud daddy he is.  He is so good to me and to Noah.  He is truly my rock and has been the one to drag me kicking and screaming from my lowest low back to the edge of sanity.  He is truly the greatest husband and friend.  He is also a pretty good nurse and house keeper!

Having Noah home for 18 days has been intense, and super-hard.  But as I look at his tiny little face I know it's worth every moment.  It's worth every sleepless night, worth every missed outing, worth it all.  Everything.  I would trade nothing.  He has stolen my heart, and has me wrapped around his tiny fingers...and I'm okay with that...  I love him so.

our first family photo (we are working on this skill)

my bright eyed boy

 so much love here

 our little monchichi

loves of my life     :0)

Aaaaaand we are still working on it!  

momma & the boy so long awaited

6 comments:

MrsH said...

Beautiful pictures! I must say, I can't wait to be where you are. congratulations and continue to enjoy the ride.

Brenda Dennis said...

Well done my love, you are and always will be amazing!

Matushka Anna said...

Beautiful.

LauraJane said...

Noah is so beautiful. Congratulations.

iarepilotswife said...

You don't know me but I've been following your blog since Rowan. I'm a friend of the Marchlewski family and I've prayed for you so many times over these last couple of years.
I am in tears reading your birth story here. Thank you for sharing this walk with us even in the pain.
And congratulations on the birth of Noah. He's beautiful.

Keep writing.

Bethany said...

CONGRATULATIONS!!! I am so very happy for you. Noah is beautiful!