sharing

I will be sharing my testimony at our MOPS group on Thursday.  It has been a tough few days as I write things out and really think about my past...where I came from, how I got to this day. 

I have spent a lot of time praying about what I will say about Rowan & Levi, as I feel they have made me the momma that I am today.  I really want to offer hope and love to other women who may have lost their babes, or know someone who has.  I struggle with the right words, and the right way to say them.  I know that God will direct me in what to say, and I just need to be strong enough to listen and follow. 

Thinking so much about them and recounting their stories has really been a series of ups and downs.  It has been nearly 3 years since little Rowan died, and almost 2 years since our Levi left us.  I miss those boys so much.  As I watch Noah grow and learn I can't help but wonder what they would be like...what our life would be like...

I miss them so much.  My heart is so broken, and yet so full...  How can there be such conflicting emotions?  How can there be so much love?